Sometimes I look back on the last two years, partly in disbelief that it’s already been two years, and partly fully understanding why it feels like a lifetime.

I think a lot about how the system doesn’t always hold certain individuals accountable. How you can’t always rely on the system to protect you, even when you’re doing everything right. And then I think about the millions of other women (and men) who have walked, are walking, or will walk through what I did.

In situations like this, one parent almost always ends up carrying the weight of everything. My child’s father withheld child support until the exact moment he was legally required to pay it. Meanwhile, I was carrying 100% of the responsibility, the home, the routines, the appointments, the emotional labor and for three straight weeks, I had our son entirely on my own.

And in the end, at the final hearing, I even forgave that debt, just to have peace.

When I look back, I can say, “Wow… that was unfair.” Because it was. I love my son more than anything, but we don’t bring children into this world for one parent to be abandoned by the other who helped create that child. It’s unfair to the child, and it’s unfair to the parent who has to rearrange their life a hundred times to make sure their child is safe, supported, and exactly where they need to be.

But what these two years have shown me is this: I kept going. I carried what needed to be carried. And my son is safe, loved, and thriving because of it.